Harry Potter

1. They are always at my side.
2. She's quite brilliant.
3. He's always makes me laugh.
4. They bring out the best in me.
5. They love me despite my flaws.
6. They have been my family since I was eleven years old.
7. No one has ever had more faith in me than they have.
8. There is nothing we can not accomplish together.
9. Auror training is loads more fun with him training with me.
10. They make me believe in myself.

Sometimes he dreams about Colin Creevey. It's not that he doesn't dream about the others that died in the final battle of Hogwarts, but for some reason the dreams about Colin are particularly vivid. He'd been so small that Oliver Wood had managed to carry the body all by himself so that Harry could speak with Neville. He had been so small the day he was sorted in Gryffindor and decided that Harry Potter was his own personal hero.

Harry is walking alone near one of the shopping districts in Los Angeles when he spots the small camera shop. Immediately he's brought back to the image of Colin with the camera in his hand as he was brought in to the infirmary after being exposed to the Basilisk. The camera that he had with him always except the night he rushed on to the school grounds at Hogwarts after being told he was too young to fight. He knew how to fight because Harry had trained him. Harry had trained nearly every one of those students who rushed out, wands at the ready, to defend their friends and their school against Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

Sometimes Harry is sure he'll see their blood on his hands. Instead when he wakes up covered in sweat and screaming out one or more names in terror. Many fell with their eyes still opened as if frozen in time and not at all aware that they had died.

Fred still had a smile etched upon his lips.

Dora and Remus looked as if they were sleeping.

Severus was completely aware he had died.

"Look at me."

Colin had been so small that it only took Oliver Wood to carry him back up to be placed with the others who hadn't survived the first hours of battle.

The camera shop has so many cameras that Harry is completely at a loss to know one from another. Then he spots an old one, one that he could picture Colin bouncing over as he explained to Harry and anyone else who would listen how it worked. Harry buys the camera and all of the accessories that come with it. He throws in several rolls of film, and then leaves the store with his purchases. He'll send it all via owl to Hogwarts to Dennis Creevey.

Die for:

Er...everyone if it was needed of me.

Kill for:

I do not believe I'm capable of taking a life.

Harry struggles sometimes with the nightmares. Most of the time he is fine during the day, but at night the dreams come for him. He relives the things that he witnessed and was unable to stop. He dreams about things he did not see, and could not have prevented. There are names on a list that become three dimensional in his dreams.

He apparates to London a lot to be with Teddy. Andromeda wonders when he will consider London home again. Harry doesn't have an answer for her. He's still struggling to figure out what he's supposed to do now that the war is over. He was never meant to survive, yet he did. They shouldn't have died, yet they did. It is something he can not make sense of. Something that he can not forget.

In time he has learned to let go of some of the guilt. He's began to learn how to how to forgive himself for not being able to save them all. For being the reason some of them didn't make it. He knows that is what his family would want. It's what the Marauders, Tonks, Moody and George would demand.

The thing about time is that is does nothing to make you forget. Perhaps you can learn to forgive yourself and others, but how can you possibly forget? He can remember how they all looked alive, and how they looked dead. He can remember what it was like to nearly be dead, yet be given a choice to live. He wonders why they did not get a choice. He wonders what they would have chosen had they been given one. Mostly he wonders if they are still happy there, and if one day London will feel like home again.

1. My father.
2. My mother.
3. Cedric.
4. Sirius
5. Dumbledore
6. Severus
7. Remus
8. Tonks
9. Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna
10. 51 names on a list

The worst thing a person can do to another is betray them. If the person you betray is one of your friends it's absolutely the worst thing possible. Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves. It's the people that will be there because they want to be instead of because they're supposed to be. I've spent years trying to understand how my parents best friend could have betrayed them, and I always come up short.

They loved him, and they trusted him with not only their lives, but my life as well. My godfather and Remus trusted him as well. He was their brother. They wanted to protect him, and they made him a part of their family. Peter chose to give into fear and the hope of being on the winning side instead. He revealed my parents secret when he was the secret keeper. He brought the war to our front door.

My best friends are the reason I was able to endure the things I had to in order to put an end to Voldemort's reign of terror. Even when we had disagreements, there was never a time when I doubted their loyalty to me. They never would have betrayed me any more than I would betray them. I don't understand how Peter did it. I hope I never do.

I ask myself that all the time. Technically I'm not the last one standing. A lot of people I care about survived the war. But a lot that I cared about didn't survive. It's strange to face each day not knowing what comes next. My entire life was spent being trained to do this one thing. This one thing that was supposed to mean me dying. I did it. I finished the final task set for me, and I ended up surviving it.

No one left me instructions on what comes next. I know it's because Albus didn't think I'd need them. He thought that I would do things the way he intended, and then I would be able to rest. Instead things got out of order. Changes in plans had to be made. Some how, some way, I ended up living. My father figures are all gone, and I feel incredibly alone at times.

I wish I knew what was meant for me next. I want to study to be an auror, but they can't take me until next year. It's too much free time on my hands. I'm not ready to discuss what happened during the war with anyone. Which is why it's easier to stay here in California while Ginny is in school. I don't have to discuss things with anyone here. They leave me to it, and for that I am grateful.

I guess where I go from here is forward. I live to see another day. I live for those who don't have that chance. What else can I do?